/attain-distance

Attain Distance Before Deciding

Get emotional distance from a decision. Counter short-term emotions that distort judgment.

Instructions

Use techniques to step back from immediate emotional reactions and connect with your core values and long-term perspective.

Output Format

**Decision**: [What you're deciding] **Current Emotional State**: [How you're feeling right now]

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10/10/10 Analysis

*How will you feel about this decision...*

| Time Horizon | How You'll Feel | Why | |--------------|-----------------|-----| | **10 minutes** | [Current feeling] | [What's driving it now] | | **10 months** | [Expected feeling] | [What will matter then] | | **10 years** | [Expected feeling] | [Long-term perspective] |

**What does this reveal?** [Insight from comparing short vs long-term perspectives]

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What Would You Tell a Friend?

If your best friend faced this exact decision, what would you tell them?

> [Your advice to them]

**Why is it easier to give advice to others?** [What you notice about your own emotional involvement]

**Can you take your own advice?** [Yes/No/Partially]

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Core Priorities Check

**What are your core priorities in life/work?**

| Priority | Rank | How This Decision Aligns | |----------|------|-------------------------| | [priority] | 1 | [alignment assessment] | | [priority] | 2 | [alignment assessment] | | [priority] | 3 | [alignment assessment] |

**Does this decision reflect who you want to be?** [Assessment]

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The "Observer" Perspective

**If you were watching yourself make this decision, what would you notice?**

[What an objective observer would see]

**What emotion is most influencing you right now?**

| Emotion | How It's Pushing You | Is That Wise? | |---------|---------------------|---------------| | [emotion] | Toward [direction] | [Yes/No/Maybe] |

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Distance Techniques

**Physical distance**: Have you slept on it?

• [ ] Yes, and my view [changed/stayed the same]
• [ ] No, should I wait?

**Temporal distance**: If this decision were made for you and you found out tomorrow, how would you feel? [Reaction]

**Social distance**: What would the wisest person you know say? > [Their likely advice]

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Cleared-Head Assessment

**After attaining distance, the situation looks like:**

[Reassessment with emotional distance]

**The right decision seems to be:**

> [Decision with more clarity]

**Remaining emotional factors:** [Feelings that still seem relevant even with distance]

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Check: Is More Distance Needed?

• [ ] I can state the decision without strong emotional charge
• [ ] I can see the other side's perspective
• [ ] I'm not deciding out of anger, fear, or desperation
• [ ] I've considered how I'll feel long-term

If unchecked items remain, consider waiting before deciding.

Guidelines

• Strong emotions aren't always wrong—but they need examination
• "What would I tell a friend?" bypasses emotional blind spots
• 10/10/10 usually reveals short-term emotions for what they are
• Sometimes distance reveals the emotion IS the insight
• Don't decide when furious, euphoric, or desperate if you can wait

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